


make your colours run

by itjustcantbe



Category: Sorted (Website) RPF
Genre: (only vaguely in ch1 but its obvious later), Gay Male Character, Self Expression, Surgery, Trans Male Character, hospital mention, i'll add more tags as stuff becomes more relevant, non binary character, nothing graphic though, pride month fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-04-05 18:22:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19045867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itjustcantbe/pseuds/itjustcantbe
Summary: Pride Month Fic, one chapter per weekend of June





	1. your body is yours/at the end of the day

**Author's Note:**

> as per usual shout out to the discord, naturally. (most of these headcanons came from there/have been discussed at length there Bless). double shout out to Sarah for beta-ing and in general making it make more sense. title of the fic is from Colours Run by Mike because it fits and its a good song!

The rest of the Sorted team would definitely describe Mike as stylish, if they had to pick one word to describe their fashions. There’s no better one-word descriptor, though going into more detail, it would probably be fairer to say that Mike enjoys experimenting with style - from regrettable spiked frosted tips in high school, worn with oversized shirts that didn’t do anything for their already lanky frame to darker hair matched with piercings and cardigans. 

 

It would be a lie to say that their gender has nothing to do with the occasionally bold fashion choices. Mike is grateful that so many modern trends allow for them to be seen as masculine and still have jewellery on, or to be able to change their look from a masculine one to a feminine one just by shaving their face and wearing a t-shirt with a different neckline. Things don’t change too much when they’re out as nonbinary, though their make-up collection increases, along with hair product and a few wigs. Starting to shop in the ‘women’s’ section is a whole other thing entirely, but they manage. 

 

Which is what brings Mike to be standing in their bedroom, looking at their reflection in the mirror on the back of their bedroom door. There’s no reason why the others wouldn’t be accepting of this. The recent change from being full-time at Chancellor’s and doing Sorted on the side to being full time at Sorted has made for a huge change in the people they work with. Mike chooses to take the chance. 

 

As for what they are wearing, it’s a skirt. Well, it’s a dress that looks like it’s two separate pieces. It’s summery, white fabric covered in sunflowers, the skirt with loose pleats and straps over their shoulders. The bright colours suit them, and are good to emphasise the change in seasons. And Mike’s willing to admit that they’re describing the outfit in their head to try convince themself it’s okay to wear to work. 

 

It definitely would have been a no-go at Chancellors, either as a student, an assistant, and as a teacher, but for Sorted, on a non-filming day, when all they need to do is hold up a boom mic for a while and then spend the rest of the day editing, there’s barely any risk. Mike finishes the outfit by putting a hoodie on over it - just until they get to the studio - and pinning their ‘they/them’ pronoun pin to the front of it. 

 

The trip to the studio goes quickly, Mike blasting music through their earphones and ignoring any off-colour looks passersby give them. Aiming to get to the studio early enough to avoid rush hour seems like it was a wise idea. As such, the only person at the studio is Ben. He’s not setting up the cameras (Tom’s job, though Mike and Barry help out when they’re around), but starting the food set up so that filming can start as soon as everyone gets there. Ben is taking a a  _ ‘here’s’ one we made earlier’ _ from the test kitchen he prepared it in to the filming kitchen, though he looks away from it when he hears Mike enter the studio. 

 

“Morning,” Mike says, putting their bag down at their desk and shucking off their hoodie, before going to the kitchen and putting the kettle on. 

 

Ben looks up, smile on his face. Mike has to admit that some part of them is expecting Ben’s smile to immediately fall when he sees what Mike is wearing - an unfounded fear, but the thought is there nonetheless for the second before Ben greets them. 

 

“Hey, Mike,” he says. “Nice to see you here bright and early.”

 

The up-and-down look he gives Mike is quick, and non-judgemental, as though he’s just taking note of Mike’s outfit the same way he does when Barry wears bright red sneakers to work - something different, but not bad. 

 

“Want a tea?” Mike offers, as he takes a mug from the cupboard for himself, waiting for Ben’s confirmation before taking another one out. 

 

“Mhm, yes thanks,” Ben replies. He pauses a moment before opening his mouth to speak again. “I like the, uh, the sunflowers on your skirt. It’s really nice.”

 

Hearing that does wonders for clearing away any remaining nervousness or insecurity Mike has; as they finish making the tea, they don’t bother trying to wipe the wide grin from their face, even doing a little spin, mostly for themself. 

 

“It’s a dress, actually,” they correct Ben. 

 

“My mistake,” he laughs. “The sunflowers on your  _ dress  _ are lovely.”

 

They’re still smiling as everyone else arrives at the studio, James getting there next, followed by Jamie and Barry, who’d been on the same running-late train, apparently. 

 

“New outfit?” Barry asks as he takes his scarf off and drops it irreverently on his desk, followed by his bag. 

 

“Well, I’ve had it a while, but it’s only just warming up enough to wear stuff like this.” 

 

That gets a smile and a nod from Barry. “Fair point. It suits you. Can’t wait ‘til I can wear something more seasonal.”

 

“You mean going to the beach shirtless?” 

 

Barry shrugs with a smile. “What can I say?” 

 

The comments from James and Jamie as well are more complimentary than Mike is used to - not that they’re complaining one bit at getting kudos for a good outfit. Mike can’t pin whether the compliments are for the fact that they have put in more effort than usual (at least it looks like they have), or if the others want to assure them of their support. Mike isn’t complaining either way, grateful to be able to express themself in something as simple as the clothes they wear, though as time passes and it becomes more commonplace for Mike to show up to the studio in all sorts of clothes, it’s reassuring how much everyone takes it in their stride. They like when they reach the point that dressing in a button up blouse tucked into a skirt gets the same response as some well-fitted jeans and a t-shirt, and that even more outgoing mix and matches of femininity and masculinity fade into background noise in favour of their new songs, or whatever joke Jamie is making, or new recipes, filming techniques, and photos to take. 


	2. all of it adds up to keep me sane

“So, we’ve got good news and bad news,” Barry says, seemingly apropos of nothing. As the five of them are just wrapping up a meeting to discuss plans for the channel; future recipes to try, new video ideas, new sponsorships, the works. “Which do you want first?”

 

“Bad?” James asks hesitantly, the concern clearly being that it’s something to do with their brand, something that Barry’s either done or discovered. 

 

Barry’s expression, however, shows how much thought he’s putting into wording his reply correctly, though there’s an undeniable smile, no matter how much he’s trying to hide it. “In that case, this is me asking for a few weeks off work.”

 

“Can’t say I’m sure how there’s good news to line up with that,” Mike scoffs. 

 

It was either saying that or joking that Barry not being around was good news. Mike went with the kinder option. 

 

“I finally have a date for top surgery,” Barry says, so hurried and smile so wide that it’s clear how much effort it did take to not just spit it out straight away. “In a few months, so I’ll need two or so weeks off straight away afterwards.”

 

“Congrats!” Jamie says instantly in a voice that shows how genuinely happy he is for Barry. 

 

The grin doesn’t fall from Barry’s face as he nods. “Thanks, J.”

 

He receives similar sentiments from Ben, James, and Mike, and takes being the centre of their attention in his stride. He doesn’t talk about being trans a lot in the public eye, but he doesn’t keep it a secret either. When he announces on social media that he’s going to be missing from videos for a bit because of it, there’s support from their fans that warms his heart, as well as a few jokes about the kitchen being slightly less chaotic with him gone that he can’t help but laugh at. 

 

Barry starts trying to get ahead with work after a week, wanting to not leave too much work behind for the others on his time off, or leave too much for him to come back to. From his research, he understands that even after the two weeks with no working, he’ll stiff be stiff and in pain, and the last thing he wants is something for Sorted to start getting overwhelming because of it. 

 

There aren’t too many other changes in the dynamic at work, though once Barry puts the date on their shared calendar, crossing out the days he’ll be away, it does become more real. Everyone signs a good luck card for Barry, and give it to him on his last working day before he leaves. Ben gives him a stash of food in single serve containers - “To make things easier while you recover”. 

 

Barry’s not about to complain about a meal that only needs to be microwaved but is as good as (or better than, since Ben’s making it) something he cooks up himself. 

 

They all stay back late that day, deciding to have dinner at the studio together for Barry’s last meal before he needs to start fasting in preparation for surgery. 

 

“And guess what’s for pudding?” 

 

It’s a trick question from Ben. On the off chance the smell of sticky toffee pudding wasn’t abundantly obvious in their small studio, needing to cook something special for Barry to finish off a meal isn’t a difficult choice. 

 

“God, thanks Ebbers,” Barry says with exaggerated-sounding enthusiasm. 

 

“It’s the least I could do.”

 

“We helped too,” Mike says. “With, uh, you know, recipe labbing it.”

 

“Right,” Barry laughs. “Jamie’s an expert on this isn’t he?”

 

Jamie nods. “Expert sticky toffee pudding taster.” 

 

Their evening devolves from there, no beers to blame on the laughter between the five of them, but Barry’s nervous excitement seeming to rub off onto the others. 

 

Barry gets a train there, the thought needed to keep himself on the right line and on time keeps him from stressing over the surgery too much. It goes well, Barry sending a text through their group chat before he needs to put his phone away and change into a gown, promising to reply once he’s able. 

 

It’s a lot, as he takes off his binder, realising this is the last time he’ll be wearing it. Sure, he knows there’s compression-wear for after the surgery to keep the results as good as they can be, but that’s not the same at all. After this, he’ll be able to feel even more at home in his body. 

 

The anaesthesia haze is strong when he wakes up, along with a nausea that takes a Sprite and some nurse-administered anti-emetics to be rid of, but above all that is a sense of contentment.

 

The first few days of recovery go slowly - Barry feels too exhausted to even leave his bedroom for the most part. The stitches on his chest itch, though he can’t even touch them, and being unable to lift his arms above a 90 degree angle makes looking after himself harder. 

 

He’s glad that his mum was able to stay over for the week, staying in his guest room, helping Barry stay on top of his medication, and microwaving the food Ben had left. Unfortunately for Barry, his mum could only stay at his and help for the first of the two weeks he’d taken off from Sorted. He tries to convince his mum, and himself, that he’s fine on his own for a week, and she eventually concedes. 

 

It’s pushing himself too hard that ends up causing the problem for Barry. He spends the first day without his mum in the house decided that he has to be self sufficient; he showers as best he can, makes an effort in tidying his room, and even does his best to cook something fresh for dinner - just scrambled eggs, but hey, he isn’t aiming to impress anyone. 

 

He’s exhausted earlier in the evening than he’d want to be, but lets himself get away with it, going to bed before he’d even be home if he were at work that week. The overexertion of the previous day makes itself known. Painfully known. Barry ends up downing a few painkillers that he’d left on his bedside table and falling back to sleep straight away. He spends the day in a state of self pity and annoyance. 

 

When James sends him a text  _ ‘Hope youre not doing too badly. I have some leftovers from recipe labs today, mind if I come over?’,  _ it’s tempting to reply no. He doesn’t necessarily want the other man seeing him in the state he’s in, especially today, but the offer of fresh food and a conversation is too good to resist. 

 

Barry left a spare key to his apartment in the Sorted studio a few months back, after realising if he gets locked out, it’d be an easier place to find a key rather than having to get a locksmith. It works in his favour now, as he doesn’t even need to be out of bed when James comes over. 

 

“‘m in my room,” he half calls out-half mumbles when he hears the front door open. 

 

“Be there in a second,” James replies. 

 

Barry hears the sound of the fridge opening, of James setting things down in it, before he hears the footsteps towards his room. 

 

“I know, I look like shit, but surgery’s a good enough excuse, isn’t it?” 

 

James shakes his head yes. “I think it counts.” 

 

James helps Barry out of bed to the living room, where Barry sits on the couch while James heats up some food. Barry’s grateful face at the food makes obvious to James how welcome his presence is there. 

 

“Baz,” he says cautiously. “How would you feel if I offered to work from home for the rest of the week? All I’ve got to do is some website things I can do from my laptop and writing up some recipes. So I could do it from yours if you wanted, and you’d have someone around to help.”

 

Normally Barry would be hesitant to accept an offer of help, fearing for it being rooted in pity. This is different, James’ voice obviously careful to avoid invoking those negative thoughts, his face showing that he genuinely cares. 

 

Barry takes him up on the offer, and James spends the week with Barry’s kitchen table taking the place of his normal desk at the Sorted studio. 


	3. i like guys and they like me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from radio friendly pop song.

They’re ready to film one of their chef gadget reviews, which will undoubtedly be a lighthearted filming. The cameras are set up, Mike rolling up the sleeves of their baggy jumpers as they make sure all the angles are right, and Barry fixing his hair before they start. Usually Ben doesn’t need touch ups - he’s always willing, on and off camera, to stand by the statement that that is the convenience of a chef’s jacket and, for all the jokes about his ‘Lego man’ haircut, it’s one less thing to worry about and fuss over. 

 

Today isn’t usual. Ben takes a pin out of his pocket and starts affixing it to the collar of his jacket, in the same place James displays the Scottish flag with pride. Ben’s pin, enamel, and in six colours, going from red to purple, is his own chance to be proud. Okay, so it was harder than he’d thought to pin it on with the chef’s jacket already on, hard to see and make sure it wasn’t uneven or wonky, and he needs a hand. Jamie, ever helpful, notices quickly. 

 

“Ben, you alright?” 

 

“Mind giving me a hand getting this on right?” Ben asks. 

 

He hadn’t mentioned his idea to the others. He was out to them, sure, it would be hard not to be. They’d heard his date stories in far more detail than he went into on camera, even James, who he’d known for the shortest amount of time, has been his friend for close to a decade. Ben isn’t really the secret-keeping type anyway when it comes to his friends. The difference comes when it’s making something public on the internet. 

 

_ “I can’t stay late today, seriously,” Ben announces.  _

 

_ It’s supposed to be an easy shoot, but sometimes Jamie and Barry take ‘easy recipe to shoot’ as a challenge rather than a reassurance.  _

 

_ “Oooh got a date?” Barry asks in a mock sing-song voice.  _

 

_ It earns a snicker from Jamie and a cheeky smirk from Mike. None of them are necessarily expecting Ben’s answer.  _

 

_ “Yes. I do. And I don’t want to get there late, especially not if it’s because I have to clean up after you lot,” Ben’s tone by the end of his sentence is light and joking, as if to distract from the confirmation he’d given them.  _

 

_ To the others’ credit, they don’t immediately start asking Ben questions about it, instead doing their parts to make the filming go as smoothly as possible.  _

 

_ “So, who’s your date with?” Jamie eventually ventures to ask.  _

 

_ “Friend of a friend from uni.” Ben pauses. “He works in tech research, apparently.” _

 

_ Ben didn’t hesitate to say ‘he’, and he hopes that he’s not lying to himself when he doesn’t see surprise on the faces of the others.  _

 

None of the rest of the team are in on it at first - Ben had been worried that if he’d asked them they’d discourage him from wearing the pin, or not understand, or he’d tell them and then change his mind. No, it has to be a decision he makes on his own. The fears he’d had when the channel started, of being just another gay Youtuber, this time a chef instead of an actor, vlogger, or musician, have dissipated. Ben knows that he’s made a mark online outside of his sexuality, which means he doesn’t care about making it known anymore. 

 

Then they’re ready to film. Ben is sent off to the other side of the studio while they film James’ bits, and he tries to stay focussed on his own research; this is both to aid his nerves and avoid spoiling what the gadgets are, until he is called over to sit at the bench of the kitchen stage. 

 

“New accessory?” Mike asks, nodding to the pin on Ben’s lapel, in the minutes before the cameras start rolling. 

 

Ben shrugs. “I’ve had it a while, but I kind of… I don’t know, want to be more out in the open about this stuff.”

 

“Not gonna wait to make some big boyfriend reveal?”

 

“Come on, no need to tease,” Ben says with a smile and shake of his head. “Painfully single as ever for now.”

 

Mike concedes the point.

 

“Still, if you’d given me warning I would have gone a bit more all out with my outfit for the video,” they remark. 

 

“Are you suggesting a whole pride themed video?” Ben asks with a laugh. 

 

“Okay, it could work.”

 

“Maybe next year, let’s just focus on getting today’s filming done for now.”

 

Mike nods and they get on with filming. Ben makes sure to have his lapel with the pride pin on it clearly on display throughout the video. He avoids covering his chest with his hand, and even as he lifts gadgets and investigates, it’s easy to see the bright colours on his plain coloured chef’s jacket. He has faith in Mike’s filming that they understand how important it is to him. 

 

Overall, there are more good gadgets than bad throughout the video, either working better than expected, not being completely useless. Ben is surprised to hear that even James likes most of the ones that they look at. The latte art pen, for one, is not something that James seems likely to like, and Ben’s confusion about it apparently made for some good clips. Aside from that, it’s an overall success in its own way for Ben. He has a word with Mike in editing it, to make sure the rainbow pin is in focus in enough shots. At the offer of making sure that the video was released in June, in time for pride month, so there’d be no denying what Ben’s pin meant, Ben agrees enthusiastically. 


	4. you aint gotta be afraid

After work pub drinks become a Friday thing for them. For the others it’s a celebration of the upcoming weekend, and James is more than happy to admit he’s the odd one out in looking forward to the upcoming Monday more than the days off work. 

 

James feels like that a lot of the time, through no fault of anyone’s really. The Monday thing is just another detail of himself that doesn’t seem to fit in with the common perspective. He tries his best to either take being an outsider in his stride or convince himself that it isn’t the case, but it’s harder than it should be. 

 

“It’s just so frustrating, it feels like it’s impossible to just go out and meet someone anymore, and sure, dating apps can work, but there’s always that worry, you know?” Ben is saying. 

 

Barry gives a hum of agreement. “You can never be sure that they’ve  _ actually  _ never heard of you before. It’s a weird dynamic to be in.”

 

Dating. Great. The topic comes up often enough between them, and though it’s not something that James actively discusses with the other guys, that is in part because he doesn’t know how to bring up the aspects of it that are hard for him. Their weird position of being watched on the internet professionally makes dating for all of them harder; no easy way to ask if someone is a fan without coming off as wanky, but no surefire way to make sure they  _ aren’t  _ a fan. James tunes back into the conversation in time to hear Ben remarking that being out on the channel is making things a little easier, that he can be less hypervigilant about what his social media shows. 

 

“What about you, James?” Jamie asks, ever the one to make sure no one in the conversation is being excluded. “Any good dates and/or horror stories of late?”

 

“Can’t say I put myself out there too much,” James replies. 

 

“Don’t tell me we need to start setting you up,” Mike says, their genuine excitement at the possibility showing through the fake exasperated tone that they’ve put on. 

 

James gives a theatrical grimace. “I’m good thanks.” 

 

Mike’s inquisitive look is the encouragement James needs to keep speaking. 

 

“It’s just, so hard to date when you feel like you’re leading someone on,” James muses. 

 

“What, wanna stretch the third date rule out a little longer?” Barry asks. 

 

“Oi Baz,” Jamie says under his breath, elbowing Barry under the table. “We’re trying to see if we need to set James up with a date, not set him up with you.”

 

James can’t help but laugh at that. “No, no, not that. It’s just …. that’s the thing, isn’t it? Sex on the third date or whatever? I don’t really want that. Or sex. At all.” 

 

Ben hums, in a way that conveys complete understanding. “So, does that mean, I don’t want to interrogate you, you don’t have to answer, but are you … asexual?” 

 

James nods. He’s relieved somehow that he isn’t the one who has to say the word out loud. It’s always easier to hear someone else say it, or to say something about someone else than it is to disclose something about yourself. The latter always carries the fear that you need to follow up with an explanation, though from the knowing looks on Ben, Barry, Mike, and Jamie’s faces, it looks like that is unnecessary, thankfully. 

 

“It just feels harder dating, knowing I want nothing to do with something that everyone else seems to want,” James elaborates. 

 

“You shouldn’t have to worry about that,” Ben says. “It sucks that you do, though.”

 

“Right!” James agrees. “I have a wide enough dating pool in theory, but then, whoever isn’t interested in a relationship without sex won’t be interested in me.”

 

“So is that a yes to us trying to set you up then?” Barry offers. 

 

James laughs and shakes his head. “You know what, go for it.”

 

Jamie smiles in that way that everyone can recognise as a warning of ‘watch out, bad joke incoming’. He delivers on the promise when he opens his mouth to speak. “Don’t worry, James, we’ll get you sorted.”


End file.
